My mom just sold my childhood home in Jacksonville, Fla. She lived there for nearly 30 years, five of those after my father died in 2004. It was just a house, right? I hadn’t lived there since I moved away for college in 1992. After all, my mom’s the one who was losing all those memories. She’s the one who had to get rid of a lot of furniture and other items she so cherished because her new home doesn’t have the space for it all. She was the one was starting over from scratch, not me.  

It wasn’t until I found my mom’s contact information in my address book that I realized how emotional this was for me as well. This address and phone number has been a part of my life and my parent’s identity in my mind’s eye since I was in the sixth grade, and now it was gone, forever. The moment I looked at it, I stared at the delete button and felt a wave of memories come gushing at me. Those thoughts sent me back to the smell of my parent’s morning coffee, my mom’s pot roast and dad’s after shave. I can still see my dad watching “The Evening News with Dan Rather” reading the paper and my mom ironing her scrubs for the following work week. I can see my sister and me trying to get dressed for school in the morning at the same time in the smallest bathroom EVER!

It wasn’t like when I had to delete my grandfather’s address from my contacts when he died last year. I knew that was coming. And while I have wonderful memories of my grandparents’ home, it wasn’t the home where I got J.B., my first real dog, had my room decorated in the colors I wanted, was confirmed in the Catholic church, got drunk and smoked cigarettes for the first time (like all good Catholic girls should), had my first true love and crushing heartbreak in the same year, was introduced to hip hop music (Salt-n-Pepa or NWA anyone?), graduated from high school, wrote my first poem and created my first “award-winning” artwork piece. These were the events that have shaped me into the person I am today, for better or worse. But when a huge part of those memories is taken out of the equation, for me it changes them somehow. It’s like taking out a big piece of the mystery plot and trying to explain it to others. None of it will make sense to anyone except you.

I begin to sob knowing I will never step foot in our house again. I never got the chance to walk through each room and say “thank you” for putting up with the Shafer’s for all those years. Before settling in Jacksonville, we moved around a lot and I always thanked the house, no matter how short of time we lived there. I did the same thing in college and when my husband, daughter and I moved out of our house in Atlanta last spring. It’s my way of getting closure. I guess knowing this time I won’t have that closure is the most heartbreaking for me right now. But then again, it’s just a house, right?

A couple of weeks ago, I attended the INROADS Rocky Mountain Region annual awards banquet on behalf of my employer. My manager had to back out at the last minute and I was thrilled to go in her place. After all, I was anxious to hear more about the organization that gave us such a kick-ass intern this past summer. I walked in to the silent auction room and was greeted by my intern and her mother. She was beaming with pride to have her mom share in the moment. I was a little giddy myself after meeting so many rising stars. I also learned that INROADS was founded more than 30 years ago by a white dude. Who knew?

As I sat at the dinner table with some of our future leaders and listened to the guest speaker talk about the evening’s theme, “Celebrating the Dream,” I started thinking about how great it is to be a part of country that has become so accepting of people. I mean, here we are in 2009, recognizing many young African Americans, Hispanics, Asians, and Native Americans for their contributions to the corporate world. We have our first African-American president in office and our first Hispanic judge on the Supreme Court. We’ve done it! We’ve fulfilled Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream! So our work is done, right?

Wrong. I fear that organizations like INROADS will begin to see a decline in support as the diversity acceptance trend continues to grow. If you think I’m being paranoid, think again. Remember the hoopla around the 1998 Master Settlement Agreement and how the funds were to go to tobacco prevention programs? And how, in just a few short years with some success, states started using the funds to pay for non-tobacco prevention programs due to budget shortfalls? Don’t think something similar couldn’t happen to diversity programs. Sometimes, success doesn’t always help the cause.

So, what do we do to keep diversity high on the priority list? How do we keep fulfilling the dream? First and foremost, talk to your company about organizations like INROADS. And if you own your own business, do some homework yourself. You won’t be disappointed in the talent they offer. Also, look for ways to help support these types of groups, and not just financially. And finally, fulfill the dream yourself. It’s human to seek out people who think, act and even look like you. But, by doing that, you miss out on all the ways others see the world.

Are you fulfilling the dream?

Last weekend, we drove through a local park on our way back from the outlet mall and ran into a herd of bison. There must have been 30 or 40 of them, and all shapes, sizes and ages. We saw little ones drinking milks from their mothers, tweens trying to show off in front of us spectators and massive males playing protector while trying not to laugh at the tweens rolling around and making a fool of themselves for attention. At one point, one of the large males looked at us with authority and snorted. Immediately, our daughter turned to him and said, “Bless You!”

My husband and I looked at each other and began to laugh uncontrollably. Other spectators joined in the laugh as well. I think we were awe-struck by her immediate reaction to the large creature as if this current adventure was an everyday occurrence. But I also think it warmed our hearts a bit knowing that she was so appreciative of the world around her. She may not realize what all her parents had to do to move out West last year to give her a better life – leaving friends and family behind, making dramatic career changes, suffering financial losses, etc. – but, one day when we show her this photo and tell her the story, I’m sure she will. 

But, here’s a question…do my husband and I realize what all we’ve done to move out here? Do we appreciate the fact that we left the comfort of our very first home with friends nearby and family only driving or a short flight distance away to start a new life? Do we recognize that our move deeply affected them as well? Or what about how hard it was to walk into my boss’ office to tell her I was quitting after more than six years of loyal service and how she had to quickly find my replacement without disruption? And, let’s not mention the heartbreak of selling the home we loved so much.

My answer? Probably not, at least not yet anyway. But, it’s only been a year and much has happened since we moved. Perhaps now that we’re finally settled in our new home and feel at peace knowing we’ll be here for a long time we can start appreciating all it took to get us here. Maybe now we can start taking more time to thank all of those who supported us in our move and forgive those who didn’t. And, maybe it’s time to forgive ourselves for wanting to make such a bold move to better ourselves at the unexpected expense of others. Hopefully, we can now appreciate more “Bless You!” moments than ever before. 

So, I ask you…have you made a dramatic move recently to better your life? And what was your “aha!” moment that made you reflect on what it took to make the change?

Yes, I’m a few days early. I have a good excuse though. I will be unplugged for four days on a little getaway and I wanted to give Daddy-Os their props. So, here’s to all those kick-ass dads out there. Happy (early) Father’s Day!

This is my favorite picture of my husband and our daughter. I took it while on a hike last year with my sister and our dogs. It was our first family hike in the Colorado mountains and they were both so happy to be surrounded by natural landscape and clean air.